Read When
by Hanajima-Senpai
Summary: She left him an array of letters. Because she knew no matter what, he would always need her help. HinataxSasuke Character's death AU
1. Chapter 1

**The sequel is here. For those of you who are new, please read Coral & Seafoam or you'll be utter lost.**

**Welcome back and please enjoy. This chapter is a short, but the next won't be. The next chapter will be posted this week end. **

**Enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Read When You Find The Pink Box<strong>

How long has she been dead? Sasuke didn't like to think about it. As a matter of fact, Sasuke sometimes liked to believe that she was never dead, but it hurt his children when he did so. Sometimes it was by accident, he would accidentally place another plate at the table, or he would be shopping and he would find something and think, '_Hinata would like this._' He would buy it, only to return home to an empty home and Hinata no longer there.

Other times he did so purposely. He always slept on the left side of the bed, because Hinata liked sleeping on the right. Thursdays were 'us' days and he would sneak out at night and watch the lake since they were so far away from the ocean she loved. He still bought her perfume and he would spritz it on her pillow or on his inner wrist, so he could always smell her. At night, he clutched onto that silly stuff animal he won her at that festival, because it smelled like jasmine, honey, and Hinata.

He missed her. Irrevocably so. Despite how Tamaki would urge him to date again, Sasuke refused. No one can replace Hinata. No one can _love_ like Hinata.

Sasuke was cleaning their room. Chiharu wanted something of her mother's. Clothes or jewelry, but something that would bring her closer to the mother that she was struggling to remember. Sasuke cleaned the top of closet, pulling down folded sheets, a box or two, and then a medium size, pink hat box. Sasuke placed the items on the bed and rubbed his slight scruff beard, absentmindedly reminding himself to shave sometime soon. The sheets were the kids old baby blankets and Sasuke rubbed the dusty material between his fingers. They were still soft and it reminded him of a time where things were happier. A time where Hinata smiled brightly and his heart ached at the memory. He missed her so. He bowed his head and his eyes burned, throat tightening. He moved onto the two boxes and when he lifted up the lid and he couldn't stop the tears that spilled from his eyes, because the world seemed to be working against him for the box was filled with old photos.

The first photo was Hinata and the three kids. Tamaki was five and the twins were two. Tamaki was wearing dark purple swim trunks, a green floaty around his waist and little goggles on his forehead. Ichiro was bashfully hiding his face in Hinata's shoulder, his swim diaper peeking out through his baby swim trunks, his belly still rounded with baby fat. Chiharu was staring impassively at the camera, her face messy with strawberries, she was wearing a red and yellow polka dot swimsuit. Hinata, beautiful as ever, was smiling brightly, a yellow sun hat on her face, body clad in a one piece swimsuit. He missed her, he clutched the photo tighter. He couldn't bear to look at any more of the photos.

He moved on to the next, circular, hat box. He lifted it up and was surprised to see an array of letters. Four had his name on them and there were one letter for each child. He twisted one envelope on the back to where the mouth was and on the edge was: Read when you find this box. Sasuke looked at the others.

_Read when you miss me_

_Read when when you need help with the kids_

_Read when you're looking out at the ocean_

Tamaki's letters read:_ Read when you've come to hate me_

Ichiro's letter: _Read when you need to be brave_

Chiharu's letter: _Read when you fallen in love_

Sasuke picked up the letter that asked him to be read when he found the box. He slid his finger under the mouth and gently pulled out the faded yellow, papers with Hinata's hand writing. He unfolded it with great care and took to read it.

-x-

**Sasuke,**

**I hope you never find this, because if you did; then that means I have left you too early and for that; I am so sorry. I always thought that we would grow very old together and we would be surrounded by many, many grandchildren. I hope I didn't leave you too early, and if I did then I'm sorry.**

**I've prepared these letters to the best of my capabilities. I believed that these are the letters that you will all need when you need my word of advice. I hope they are everything you hoped for. Sasuke, I know this letter is short, and I know you are impatient, but please; follow my suggestion. Only read them when they are needed. For my children, determine when they need it. I love you. I love them.**

**And I miss you all, so, so much.**

**Love,**

**HINATA**

Sasuke didn't know how long he sobbed there on the floor, but Tamaki found him that day when he came home from the academy.

"Tou-san?" Tamaki asked softly at his father, curled in the corner with the letter pressed to his chest, ten year old Tamaki gently brushed his father's dark hair away from his face. "I miss her too, Tou-san." Tamaki weeped and Sasuke pulled his son into his arms. He needed to be strong for his children, even when he felt weak.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two!**

**I'm very happy with all the positive feedback so far.  
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**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Read when you've come to hate me<strong>

When Tamaki turned twelve that boy was a whirlwind of emotions. He argued with his father, got into fist fights with his peers, instigated fights with neighboring villages, and snarled at his siblings. Tamaki took a habit of locking himself in his room, his expression dark and eyes angry. Tamaki didn't really understand why he was so angry, but he was. There was this void in him and Tamaki wondered when it got so big and consuming.

"Kaa-chan," Nine year old Ichiro spoke at the family shrine, he placed a peach on the table as an offering. "I miss you Kaa-chan. Today at academy was very fun. I made many friends and so did Chiharu, but you know how Chiharu is." The little boy nodded solemnly. "She's just shy." He whispered in a conspiratory tone and Tamaki watched the exchanged with clenched fingers and a scowl.

"You're so stupid, Ichiro." Tamaki snarled and he yanked Ichiro by his thin arm away from the altar. "She's dead. She can't hear you!" Ichiro wilted at his older brother's words.

"T-Tou-chan," The bashful boy stuttered. "Tou-chan said t-that Kaa-chan c-c-c-caa-"

"C-c-caan," Tamaki mocked his brother's stutter. "Stupid! You're so stupid!" Tamaki roughly pushed his brother away from the altar and glared at the smiling picture of his mother. "Kaa-chan," He sneered. "is dead and she's a bitch for leaving us." Tamaki moved to smack the picture, ignoring his brother's cries. An iron grip closed around his wrist tightly. It wasn't tight enough to hurt, but it was a firm, cold warning.

"Tamaki,"Sasuke said sternly. "Enough." Tamaki glared at his father and roughly pulled his arm away. Chiharu watched blandly as she helped her twin up, the younger boy sniffling as he nervously wrung his shirt in his hands. "Apologize." It was an order. Tamaki fumed.

"Sorry," He spit out to his brother and Ichiro simply bowed his head in acceptance.

"And to your mother." Sasuke added. Tamaki felt something snap in him.

"I won't apologize to her! She's dead. She's never coming back Tou-san! Get over it! Stop acting like she can hear us because she can't and-!" Tamaki's mouth hung open in shock, the side of his face burning. Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he put his hand down.

"You will not disrespect your mother like that." Sasuke said coldly. "She loved you very much and for you to say things like that," Sasuke set his jaw tightly. He never hit any of his kids like that. An occasional swat on the bum or hand when they misbehaved, but never had he slapped one of his children, but he stood by it. He won't let anyone bad mouth Hinata.

"I hate you," Tamaki said lowly. "I hate you! I hate her and I hate you! I hate everyone! I hate this family!" Tamaki yelled and he turned on his heel and left the house. Sasuke sighed heavily. Perhaps it was time. How did Hinata always know these things? Sasuke looked out the window, the sky dark and gray.

"Chiharu," Sasuke turned to his daughter, her lavender eyes turning to meet his. "Watch the house and take care of your brother." The little girl saluted him impassively.

"Yes, Tou-san!" Sasuke left the house. He knew where his son would be.

-x-

Tamaki glared at the training post that he slammed his fist against. He kept thinking about the ocean that his mother loved so much. He could still remember the day where they buried her body, he remembered the small lantern boats that they set out on the family lake to pass their message to her in the after-life. He could still remember what he wrote on his card before he casted his boat to his mother

Please don't leave me

"I hate you!" Tamaki screamed, pausing his rapid fists against the pillar to clutch onto it tightly. His heart pounding loud in his ears. He hated her. His mother. How could she just leave him like that? He still need her. What kid didn't need their mother. He missed her smiles and her gentle touches. He missed how big she seemed when she closed her arms around him. They way her cheek pressed to his when she squeezed him close to her. Her soft voice when she spoke to him, the hum of her throat when she sang to him. Tamaki curled his fists to his eyes as he sobbed. The weight of everything making him fall to his knees. "Kaa-chan," He sobbed. He justed wanted her to be here again. Why did she have to die? He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and through his watery eyes he could spot his father. Sasuke gave his son an encouraging smile.

"Tou-chan," The boy sobbed and threw himself into his father's strong arms. Sasuke hugged his son, his hand rubbing his back comfortingly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean any of it. I love you and Kaa-chan and Ichiro and Chiharu! I don't know why I said it. I just get so angry!"

"When I was your age," Sasuke began and Tamaki sniffled and glanced up at his father for his father very rarely spoke of his past. "I was always angry too. I was filled with hate and even when there were people around me who offered a chance of happiness I turned it away." Sasuke pursed his lips. "I betrayed my friends and I became a person who was nothing, but cold and dark. If your mother hadn't," Sasuke didn't like to think of how he would have been if Hinata wasn't in his life. "Tamaki, I know it hurts. I'm hurting too just like your brother and sister are, but together I know we can heal." Sasuke ruffled Tamaki's dark hair. Sasuke pulled away from his son and pulled out an envelope. "Your mother is a very smart woman. She left this for you." Sasuke held out the letter and Tamaki took it. "Read it when you're ready." Tamaki took the letter and read his name in his mother's curly handwriting. He held the envelope carefully, as if it was a bluejay egg.

"Home?" Tamaki asked his father.

"Home." Sasuke confirmed. They walked home, ate dinner and the whole time the letter burned in his pocket.

-x-

Tamaki didn't read the letter. He went into his room and hid it under his pillow, his hand would curl around the envelope every night that he slept. It took him three weeks before he finally opened the letter. He couldn't sleep that night. He tossed and turned, restless and hot in his too comfy bed. He pulled himself up and pulled the letter from under his pillow, taking his flashlight from under his bed. He flipped the switched and turned the letter over.

Read when you've come to hate me

Tamaki swallowed thickly. Did she always know? With shaky hands, Tamaki pulled the letter open, yellowish pages rough under his fingers.

_**Tamaki,**_

_Did you know that when you were first born you cried and cried non-stop? You never let Tou-chan and I sleep. It was our fault though, we were young parents so you would have to forgive us._

_Tamaki, I love you. You're my little boy and I know me dying must have really hurt you, and understand that I would never want to hurt you. I don't know if you understand or maybe you understand entirely, but me dying-me leaving- it was never something I wanted. If I was given a choice I would stay with you for as long as you want me, but life as much as it is a blessing can be cruel. You are strong. You are brave. And I know you can be happy again. Please be good to your father; he's trying his best with you, I promise he is. He has a hard time expressing himself so please be easy with him. Take care of your siblings, they are younger and they will need you just as much as you need them._

_And remember, no matter how much you say you hate me or angry at me, know that I will always love you and be proud of you, regardless of anything you say or do. And I know, no matter what you say or do, you will love me. Don't for a second think I never thought or knew so. I'm so proud of you. I was proud the moment you were born and I will continue you to be proud of you no matter what. I want the best for you. Thank you for being my son. _

_I love you so, very much Tamaki. And I miss you with all my heart._

_Love,_

**Kaa-chan**

Tamaki watched his tears drip on the paper and he hastily wiped away his tears because he didn't want to ruin the letter. Kaa-chan knew he still loved her and he always would. Pushing the blankets aside, he hurried downstairs and kneeled down at the family altar. Lighting a candle, Tamaki bowed his head in prayer before staring at the picture of his mother.

"Kaa-chan," Tamaki licked his lips. "I know I haven't been here in awhile and I'm sorry." Tamaki rubbed his swollen eyes. "I love you Kaa-chan. You always knew what to say to make me feel better." Tamaki inhaled deeply before smiling easily for the first time in a long time. "I apologized to my teammates and they forgave me. We played a prank on old man Kakashi. I know you don't like me playing pranks on people and to respect my elders, but Tou-chan and Naruto said I can!" Tamaki chatted to his mother through the night, Sasuke watching fondly from behind hall.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the reviews and favorites and alerts. Sorry if you waited long, but here's a new chapter. So I wrote a Harvest moon fic which had sex in it and someone decided to remind me of the rules that I ignored and threaten to report me if I didn't change it. At first I did, but it gnawed at me for days so I switched it back. Apparently this user does this to several people and is a troll. It's very irritating that people feel the need to police others. Anyways, I wrote a Harvest moon three-shot which will be finished tonight. I'm also writing a Kingsman fanfic. I know the movie just came out, but _fuck_ Colin Firth man. My sister was disgusted with my constant swooning over the older gentleman. I can't help it, I have a thing for older men. **

**Anyways**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Read when you need help with the kids<p>

Sasuke was so incredibly proud of his children. Tamaki was a Chonin at the age of fourteen and Chiharu was also, but at the age of ten. Like any genius, Chiharu had a penchant for anything she did, and her impassive and merciless attitude got her far in the shinobi world. Sasuke worried over her at times, believing she was growing up too fast and the last thing he needed was another incident like Itachi. Chiharu seemed to always know what was on her father's mind though and only progressed to what she and he were comfortable with.

Ichiro on the other was still in the academy. He wasn't on the top of his class, but by no means was he at the bottom. Ichiro was average, something that Sasuke was grateful for. At first Sasuke wondered if jealousy would bloom in Ichiro's heart because of his sister's accomplishments, but Ichiro seemed genuinely happy with his sister's success. He seemed content with where he was at.

Tamaki was loud, boisterous, a mischief maker, but very kind and brave. He stood up for what he believed in and wouldn't back down from what was right. Sasuke couldn't help, but grumble at the thought because while Tamaki was his son, Tamaki also showed characteristics of his Sensei, Naruto. Sasuke grunted lowly to himself when he remembered how happy Tamaki came in the house saying how Hokage Naruto was his sensei.

Ichiro was shy, quiet, and developed his mother's stutter and how easily he became flustered. He was a pushover, a cry-baby, and had a weird phobia of being stared at, but despite all this he was hard working, loyal, and very intuitive. He seemed know everything and was always offering a helping hand to his family and friends.

Chiharu was-Chiharu. She was quiet and expressionless. She was cut-throat, aggressive, and cold. She followed orders well and barely blinked at insults. She was rather eccentric though; with a soft-spot for sweets and her siblings. She adored all things cute, which explained her brightly colored room, the lacy curtains, and the stuff animals that took up every nook and cranny of her room.

Despite their oddities, Sasuke loved his children very dearly which was why there was hell to pay when one went missing.

It was like any other day. Bright, sunny, everyone chattering away. Sasuke took a spot in the hospital, being taught under Sakura as he refused to be put on active duty where he would be away from his children for long periods of time. He was helping an elderly man with his bad hip and suddenly children were being rushed in the hospital. Sasuke could remember the way his heart clenched tightly when he recognized it as Ichiro's class. Apparently, while on a field trip to the outer gates they were attacked and betrayed by their sensei. Clan children were snagged and Ichiro along with them. Despite his Hyuuga eyes, everyone seemed to know who Sasuke's kids were. Something he found very bothersome. He didn't even bother talking to Sakura as he teleported into Naruto's office. Chiharu and Tamaki were already there. Tamaki's face pulled into a worried and murderous frown while Chiharu was blanked face, but eyes panicked.

"Naruto." Sasuke growled.

"We're looking." Naruto said, Kakashi appearing in the room shortly after along with Hanabi, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, and Ino as they were all clan heads.

"How many were taken?" Hanabi snarled, her moon eyes cold and icy.

"Six Hyuugas, two Abraumne, three Nara, and four Yakamana's, along with Ichiro." Naruto laced his fingers and rested them above his nose bridge.

"I want to be on the retrieval team." Hanabi gritted her teeth. Sasuke refused to look at her. It didn't matter how long it has been he could never fully look Hanabi in the eyes. She looked too much like Hinata and ever since Hinata died, Hanabi was always angry at him. She blamed him, like it was his fault that she ran away from home. That she died. Hanabi was distant with her niece and nephews, because if Hinata never gave birth to them, then those ninja wouldn't have hunted them down, but Sasuke knew that Hanabi blamed herself most of all. If she didn't surpass her sister, then she would be head.

"I need you here." Naruto said sharply. "I'm sending Sasuke, Tamaki, Chiharu, Neji, and Kakashi."

"Bring the traitor alive, eliminate the rest, and bring the children home safe." They bowed and disappeared in a whirl of leaves.

-x-

Ichiro wanted to vomit. He was already sobbing uncontrollably, but he was so nervous that his stomach wanted spew all his meals over the back of the man that took him. He knew he was suppose be a ninja and ninjas don't show emotion, but all Ichiro wanted was to be with his father and his siblings. Most of all he wanted his mother. Some of the kids were crying also, others remained cold, but Ichiro was sobbing he loudest.

"I thought you said that Uchiha kid was a prodigy. She keeps crying." The man grumbled and Ichiro sobbed louder. They thought he was his powerful sister. His sister that had his father's eyes, that was an excellent ninja, that was brave and fierce and everything that he wasn't.

"My family will kill you." Ichiro sobbed out, trying to frighten them to let him go. His Sensei paused in his step and turned to him.

"If they even get close I'll slit your throat in front of them." Sensei patted him on the cheek roughly. "You have no real power. Just some pathetic runt who dishonored both his parents without inheriting anything from them. You're just to sell off to anyone who wants to get revenge off that bastard of a father of yours. What they'll do to you is much worse." Ichiro wept and prayed of his family to come.

-x-

They were taking a break. A quick one to relieve themselves and eat something quick. The children got nothing, but Ichiro didn't protest his dry throat or his aching bladder. He tried to be more like Chiharu or Tamaki, but most of all his father. They were heroes and Ichiro could be a hero too. They had them all nestled together. Their backs facing one and Ichiro knew he could untie them all. He spent enough times as the damsel princess that he knew how to untie any knot behind his back. He set to work at his classmates first and they would look at him in surpise, but remained quiet. His hands were shaking so fervently he thought he would mess up soon their bonds fell loose and Ichiro set on his.

"Don't move." A Nara girl whispered harshly to a Yamanaka boy. The boy's blue eyes were scared and pitiful.

"I'm sorry." He whimpered and he turned and ran. HIs classmates swore and like frighten sparrows they all darted away. Ichiro felt his stomach drop and his heart pause.

"W-Wait!" He cried out. He wasn't out yet. Oh God he wasn't out yet. His nerves got the better of him and he vomited on the floor.

"You little shit. You fucken little shit." Ichiro turned his eyes up to see his Sensei seething. He pulled out his kunai with a snarl. "You'll regret that."

-x-

They found some of the children running to them. Sasuke ordered Tamaki and Chiharu to escort them home while Kakashi and he dealt with the rest. Sasuke scanned the red faces for his son, but he couldn't see him.

It was a sound. A sound that no father wanted to hear, but much to Sasuke horrors he heard it. It was high pitched, agonizing, sharp scream that tore through the air. It was his son. Ichiro was screaming in such a way that Sasuke never wanted him to scream. No sound should ever escape that mouth of his. Raw rage filled Sasuke he tore through the earth to find his son. He ignored Kakashi shouts. He thirst for the blood that cause his son to cry in such a way. His heart froze when he saw it. His son crying, clutching on to his bloody hand, that man was crushing his head into the soil and Sasuke could see his son's fingers on the ground. Sasuke never felt such an anger before. He didn't remember much after that. Everything was fuzzy, but he remembered blood and he remembered his son crying. Neji urging him to attend to his son. When he came to, everyone was dead and Sasuke held his shaking son in his arms.

"Let me see." Sasuke croaked and his own hands were shaking when he helped pulled Ichiro's hand away. That man severed three of his fingers. His thumb, index, and ring finger. All fingers he needed. Sasuke was a better medic now though. It was a clean cut and still fresh. He could reattach them and with physical therapy he could have full use of his fingers. "Sleep." Sasuke lulled his son to sleep as his red eyes spun and spun and spun. Ichiro's pale eyes drooped and closed and Sasuke set to work on his hand.

-x-

"Did you see his eyes?" Neji asked Sasuke once his son was nestled into a hospital bed. Sakura checking his vitals.

"He has the Byakugan." Sasuke could faintly recall the veins that spiderwebbed around his eyes.

"He has the Sharingan." Neji countered.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke pushed Neji into a quieter room.

"While they are not red, he has your tomoes." Neji's pale eyes went to Hinata's son. "If the elders find out, they'll push ahead for his advancement."

"He's my son and part of my clan. I have the final say as his clan head." Sasuke refused to let his son be abused like that. He wouldn't allow it.

-x-

WHen Ichiro was sent home all three of his children took a habit in sleeping in his bed, but Sasuke didn't mind. He wanted them all near him as close possible. Ichiro often woke from night terrors or wetting the bed. When he woke up his eyes would activate and Sasuke was amazed at what he and Hinata had created. The veins weren't a prominent as his wife's were, still pale in color, but he could see the tomoes in his eyes. Neji and Sasuke took care of his training from that day on. Sasuke had him pulled from the academy and he was to be privately trained under him and Neji. Both with the Byakugan and Sharingan. Ichiro could see chakra points, he didn't have the all-seeing eyes like a normal Hyuuga. He could still see 360, but not as far as Hyuugas, but his Sharingan was just like any other. Ichiro would be the start of a whole new bloodline.

Sasuke worried over his children. He thought Ichiro would be safe from hunters, but he wouldn't be now. His fingers caressed the letter in his hand.

Read when you need help with the kids

Sasuke,

How are you? I'm fine. I miss you. I love you too. How are our babies? Wonderful I assume. If you're reading this then something has happened with our babies. I hope nothing too serious, but if it is, just be there for them Sasuke. I know you tend to distance yourself when you feel troubled, but our children won't understand that. Be close for the both of us. If they're misbehaving, tell them what they did wrong punish them never out of anger. I don't want our children growing up like we did. I don't want them to feel the pressure of what we felt. I'll selfish and ask that you make sure that this never happens, and I know you will do that for me. Our kids are not us. So don't expect them to be like us. They are their own little people and you need to nourish them in their own way. I know you'll do fantastic. You were great in everything you did. There is no easy way to raise children, but know this is how we raise ours.

With love, understanding, acceptance, pride, kindness, and support. Do all these things and I swear they could be happy.

I love you Sasuke. I love them. Remind them of that every day.

Love,

HINATA

Sasuke tucked the letter back into the envelope and tucked it away into his drawer. He settled into his bed, and wrapped his arms around his children. He pressed a kiss to Ichiro's sweaty brow. He would take care of them just like Hinata wanted.

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><p><strong>Review?<strong> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews and follows and favorites.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em>Read when you need to be brave<em>

Uchiha Ichiro, or Chi-chan to close friends and family, nervously shifted from one foot to the other as he waited for his best friend. Ichiro was now seventeen and in the past years of living in Konoha had made him a warrior, but that didn't do much to harden his sensitive heart or quell his jittery nerves. He was still the soft, kind-hearted boy who cried off of everything and hid in his father's arms.

"Chi-chan!" Ichiro smiled softly as his smoothed his long braid over his shoulder. Sabaku no Emiko,is the Kazekage's daughter who was just two years younger than Ichiro himself, but they had been close friends since they were childrens. Ever since the flaming hair girl stomped on his sandcastle and declared herself ruler of the sandbox, they had been inseparable since. Emiko looked very much like her father with a shock of crimson hair, it was thick, wild and a mess of knotty and kinky curls. Her mother must have had dark skin, for rather than the porcelain skin of her father, Emiko's skin was warm like the brown sands of the desert. Her eyes were like the Kazekage, a sea-foam blue with a thicket of dark lashes. Like her father, she inherited a thirst of bloodlust, but her father kept her under control. Emiko was bold, loud, and demanding, a complete contrast of Ichiro's quiet, sensitive, and passive nature.

"Emiko-chan," Ichiro greeted quietly and the confident girl punched him in the arm. "ready?" Emiko took him by his arm and dragged him to her Aunt house. Aunt Temari was out with her baby for the day, so that left Ichiro and Emiko with the house to themselves.

"You're going to flip. It's all the things you could want." Emiko cried out excitedly.

"I can't wait!" Ichiro smiled brightly with a blush. Emiko unlocked her Aunt's door and they quickly made their way to Temari's room.

"This one!" Emiko pulled out a long, red dress from her Aunt's closet. "This one will be perfect." Ichiro felt the soft, silky fabric in awe before he took it and went into the bathroom. He shed off his pants, long sleeve shirt with the Uchiha clan symbol on the back. He slid on the dress and let loose his hair. He caught his reflection in the mirror.

This was his secret that only Emiko knew. It wasn't that he was gay or that he wanted to be a woman, it wasn't like anything like that. Ichiro just felt more comfortable in women's clothing. When he looked in the mirror, with a long pretty dress, he felt at looked like his sister, his feature were soft, lashes long, with a gentle chin. He looked like his mother with his long hair and when he looked in the mirror he felt like this was what his mother must have looked like when she was younger. It made him feel closer to her some way.

"Let me see Ichiro!" Emiko called out and Ichiro walked out with a bashful grin.

"How do I look?" Ichiro played with his long hair embarrassed and a flush crossed over Emiko face.

"You look so pretty!" She stood up and stood next to him. While Ichiro was tall, so was Emiko and they were nose to nose with one another. "I like when you dress pretty." Emiko purred and she touched his cheek. Ichiro blushed.

"E-Emiko!" He stuttered and Emiko leaned forward.

"Hmm, Chi-chan, give me a kiss." Emiko wheedled.

"A-A-anou!" Ichiro could feel his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Emiko always did this. She loved kissing him when he wore dresses, he thought it was because he looked like a girl and felt like Emiko liked girls, but Emiko denied that. She said she liked both, but he was pretty like a girl, but was in every sense the romantic male that Emiko craved.

"Chi-chan," She breathed, her nose lightly nudging his own, before she took his mouth with her own. Kissing Emiko was a like poison. Deadly, sweet, demanding, and weakening. When Emiko kissed him, it felt like she was consuming him and everything he had to offer. She would clutch at his back, finger curling into his flesh, and he would tilt her head up so he could feel the curve of her throat. Ichiro always did feel confident in a dress so when he pushed her into her Aunt's bed he hovered above her.

"Is this what you want?" He purred when his fingers curled into her bloody hair. Emiko hummed in approval and spread her legs to accommodate him.

"Aunt Temari will be coming home soon." Emiko warned, but her idle hands had smoothed up his legs.

"We should do this quick then." Ichiro bowed his head to kiss her.

-x-

Ichiro hated wearing boy clothes. They made him feel uncomfortable and made him feel like he wasn't how he should be. He liked wearing skirts and dresses, he liked how they showed off his legs and how it made him feel like he could show his face, but the terror of what his family would say had him wearing clothes that he hated. He felt like his masculine father would be upset, that his boyish brother would howl in laughter, and his sister would stare at him with cold eyes, but the hidden warmth wouldn't be there.

Ichiro was happy that there was no one home. When no one was home he would sneak into his father's room and go in his closet where his mother's clothes were. He would try them on, breathe in the scent that still lingered there. When he looked in the mirror he say his mother and he feels closer and he felt like she was with him. It was habit that made him go up those stairs and into his father's room. He slid the closet door opened and picked out his favorite dress. It was yellow with a thick bar straps, it had a scoop neck, and cinched at the waist and flowed down his hips and just above his knee. He shed off his clothes and slipped the dress on, unraveling his long hair from his braid. He smoothed the dress and fixed his hair like how his mother would. He saw his mother and when he smiled; she smiled. His fingers curled into his dress and his eyes burned. He missed her. When he closed his eyes, her face was blurry and her scent a faint memory. The pictures helped, the perfume reminded him, but he wished he had the real thing.

"Hinata?" The voice of his father was one he never heard. It was hopeful, broken, a prayer and a plea on his lips. Ichiro felt his stomach drop and the heat burn his face.

"Tou-san." He masked his voice liked his sister's and his father's face broke before it became cool.

"Chiharu." They way he said his sister's name was almost a reminder that his mother could never be here.

"You're wearing your mother's clothes."

"I just," Ichiro paused. "I wanted to feel closer to her." His father placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You look so much like her." Sasuke smiled softly. "Go clean up for dinner." Ichiro nodded his head, scooped up his clothes and quickly made his way to his room. He was thankful that his father didn't notice.

-x-

After dinner, Ichiro retired to his room to find an envelope on his pillow. _Read when you need to be brave. _The paper was thin and rough with age and when he opened it, he was met with yellow paper.

_Ichiro,_

_I came from a very prominent family. We had very strict rules and they were all so strong. One day, I was to be head of this family, but I didn't have the strengths that they wanted. Like you, I was shy, I was filled with anxiety. My father called me weak, others took me for granted. Not everyone believed me. For a long time I didn't believe in myself either._

_Ichiro you are so much like me in my both my flaws and my strengths. I know how hard it is to be brave. I know how hard it is to confess what you really are feeling, to have and hope someone would lean on you, to stand on your own. If you're like me though, I know you can. If you're like your father I know you can._

_You are both of us though, so I know you can do anything. Don't worry you can do it. If people say you can't, ignore them. You can do whatever you set your mind to. You are strong._

_I love you. I wish I was there to help guide you in every problem you have. I want to be there and hold your hand when you feel weak because it's okay to need someone to lean on._

_I love you, my brave, brave, sweet boy._

_Love,_

_Kaa-chan_

Ichiro whimpered and rubbed his eyes. Oh, how he missed her. He wished she was here and he wondered what his mother would say about his fashion choices.

"I know it was you." Ichiro turned to see his father leaning against the door. Sasuke walked towards his son, and sat on his bed.

"I know which one twin is which," Sasuke said. They were silent. "Are you gay?"

"No." Ichiro said thickly and shook his head. "I like women and I like being a man, but I just feel so comfortable in women's clothes. I feel at like me."

"I don't care what you wear." Sasuke said, slowly. "Some people will, but those people don't matter."

"I know." Ichiro fingered at his sheets. "Did you give me Kaa-chan's letter?"

"I thought you need it." Ichiro hugged his father tightly.

"Thank you." Sasuke rubbed the back of his son's back.

"Oh, uhm, by the way." Ichiro pulled away suddenly, his thumbs twidiling in his lap. "I may be in a relationship with the Kazekage's daughter and the Kazekage may or may not walked in while said daughter and I were uhm, intimate, and said Kazekage may or may not be coming over tonight. Thanks for the talk Tou-chan!" Before Sasuke could utter a word his son had bolted from the room. Sasuke scowled at the thought of Gaara.

He didn't like the idea of becoming family with him.

-x-

"Hey, Uchiha-san!" Emiko smiled brightly the following morning when she and her father stood at the door. Sasuke was sorely tempted to slam the door in their faces, but Ichiro came out wearing his mother's dress, all bright eyed and happy. He took Emiko's hand and hugged her tightly.

"Uchiha." Gaara growled his cold glare on his son.

"Gaara." Sasuke sneered.

"Since we're practically family, can I call you Tou-chan?" Emiko teased Sasuke and Sasuke tossed her a dirty look.

"No." Sasuke and Gaara growled at the same time.

"Let's go, Chi-chan. I want to get a morning peach." Emiko tugged at her boyfriend's arm. Ichiro smiled warmly and dutifully led her out, oblivious to his father's and Emiko's father's staredown.

Emiko ate the peach that Ichiro bought her, they were holding hands and the village were whispering to one another, but for the first time Ichiro didn't care.

"I'm happy." Emiko said looking up at him fondly. "I'm happy that you are." Ichiro leaned over and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"Lesbians!" Ichiro turned his head to see Bolt, Naruto's child, cackling while he pointed at them.

"You little shit, I'll disembowel you and send your head to your mother!" Emiko raged and Bolt paled before running off and Emiko went to chase after him, but Ichiro caught her by her wrist and pulled her into his chest and kissed her to quell her rage.

**OMAKE:**

Seven year old Ichiro, added another tower on the sand castle he was currently building. Yes, this was a master piece. It was at three tiers, a moat, it had a flag and windows, with stone embellishments. Yes, this was beautiful. Tou-chan lived in this side of the castle with Kaa-chan, and he and Hi-Ha lived on the other side, and Tama-chan lived in the attic because Ichiro didn't like how bossy his brother had become. Tama-chan was only allowed out for meals and- a foot crushed his castle, the sand crumbling beneath the barefoot, toes wiggling between the sand.

"I rule the sandbox!" A little girl cackled and Ichiro turned to look up at the wild, maroon hair girl.

"You crushed it," Ichiro muttered brokenly as he stared at the remains of the beautiful castle. The little girl turned her sea-foam eyes to him and leaned in _really_ close.

"I rule the sandbox." She whispered and cupped his face. "I _rule_ you." Ichiro whimpered at the five year old's intense words.

"N-no thank you." Ichiro tried to pry her hands away, but she tightened her grip.

"I'm going to make you my girlfriend." She tugged him to his feet. "I'm the love of your life and you can call me Emiko."

"Ichiro." Ichiro wilted to her demands. He worried over the idea of his twin finding out about her. Chiharu was rather possessive over him and he wondered if Chiharu would attack his new lover.

"That's a boy's name. I'll call you Chi-chan." Emiko pulled him to the swings.

"But I'm a bo-"

"Silence girlfriend!" Emiko's chubby face raged. Ichiro sighed and two years later Emiko would feel betrayed when she found out Ichiro's real gender.

* * *

><p><strong>Review?<strong>

**Okay, I wanted to give a little more understanding about Ichiro's cross-dressing. This story more revolved around him coming out as a cross-dresser, but for him he cross-dresses because it makes him feel comfortable with who he is and more confident. It also helps him stay close to his mother because when he was younger he was often cross-dressing. If you have problems with Ichiro cross dressing to be honest I don't really care. You can rant about it if you want, but Ichiro is the way he is and that's not changing. **


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